Naught Kelly News
Born of boredom and inspired by Reductress, I began making memes of my friends. Below is some silly but cutting insight into the character of my friends.
Local man has opinions!
"It's my comfort show. I can't imagine life without it."
"Absorbing a different culture really opens up your mind. I'm a totally different person after the numerous nights drinking and dancing until 6 A.M."
"I'll be spending the next 10 days with my entire family, and I got PTO approved so I can really maximize our quality time together. I can't wait for the Turkey 5K!"
"After a weekend of drinking, nothing compares to a good meal with good friends," she slurs to the Lyft driver.
"They're a limited edition collab retailing at over a grand. I'm lucky I got in on the drop because they're fresh as hell."
"Thanksgiving is such a beautiful holiday celebrating the first turkey discovery in this country. Or was it the first ship landing on shore? First presidential dinner?"
"Mom and Dad don't understand a word I say, so it's kind of em-bah-rassing when a joke falls short."
Locals were alarmed seeing a woman emerge from the woods covered in blood. Relief spread rapidly upon realizing it was the blood of her enemies and not her own.
"Every time she goes off to the bathroom with one of them I worry they're going to literally mark their territory. We've been dating nearly a year now, and I can't keep buying rounds for everyone. It's financially unsustainable."
"People tend to cross the street when they see me coming. I'm actually a very nice guy."
Web search history: therapist near me, side effects of wellbutrin, emotional support animal near me, match.com
"We enjoyed the first few minutes, but it was hard to hear the lyrics when she just started sobbing around the 7 minute mark," reports the DJ.
"His foundation crumbled during the signature bake. I don't understand how there could be enough flavor to compensate for what should be a significant scoring component. She was just clearly more inventive and ambitious with her signatures."
"They think they can hide from me along the back wall, but I played third base in JuCo. I have an absolute rocket for an arm."
"He's a really good interviewer. Right wing? Alex Jones is a comedian. you just don't understand his satire."
"That was such a good game. Wait what do you mean pick 6? Wait what? What was the final score?! We were up by 18!"
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"I will be asking for a raise at my 6 month eval," she says to her roommate while moving a pile of stale clean laundry from a chair in the corner of her bedroom.
"That sounds lovely dear. Can you pass me an extra napkin?" Grandma says to granddaughter.